open. upward. forward. okay.

Lisa Congdon: one of my favorites <3

My family and I just recently made a big move from The Netherlands to China. I’ve been thinking quite a bit about our last transition, six years ago, when we made the move to The Netherlands from New York City. I’ve searched my brain – was it this challenging? The short answer is no, it really wasn’t. We moved to a country where English was widely spoken. There were many cultural similarities. And in the classroom, roughly half or more of my students spoke English.

Yet, ‘no’ is not the whole truth. The transition to a new school culture was challenging. Learning how to work with new colleagues in ways that were unfamiliar to me was challenging. Transition is about finding your place in a new puzzle. It doesn’t work to press, push, and jam a puzzle piece. No, it needs to be looked at carefully,  turned around a few times, and hopefully makes a snug fit.

It’s helpful for me to remember this – to see the pattern – that transition simply is a challenge. Whether the move is bog or small, moving countries, cities, or moving to a new school. While it can feel like a thick, muddy, get-me-out-of here existence in the throws of transition. It is also lovely.

 Lovely? Yes, I really said that.

Why?

Well, the Buddhist saying “the tender heart of sadness” has bubbled up in my mind these over these weeks. There’s a softness to sadness. A vulnerable heart can also be an open heart. Through my sadness, and wish-I-were-anyplace-else moments, I could feel that tenderness and sit with it. It was actually a little warming, cathartic, and welcome this sadness.

I didn’t muffle the sadness. I embraced it. “How is your day?” an unknowing colleague would ask. “Not so great. I’m struggling” would be my response. The jury’s still out on how absolute honesty will pan out. But, it felt good to own the truth that transition is hard.

Then like a light being switched on in a darkened bedroom first thing in the morning, the intensity of my sadness was gone.

Okay, that sounds a little too good to be true.

Maybe it was a nightlight – not a bright and luminescent overhead light. Not the natural glow of the sun. Yes, a soft and pale light.

But that is okay. It’s light!

And each day since (it’s been about three days) has been a bit better than the previous day.

Back to China and being the puzzle piece. Here is what I know. We all have something unique and valuable to bring to the table, or the puzzle so to speak. Not only is it in our best interest to adapt and find our fit – when we do we also help complete that beautiful 500 piece puzzle.

I’m still thinking and looking at the puzzle. Seeing where I fit to turn the least number of times. But I will fit and I do want to be a part of this puzzle.

Transition can feel down right traumatic.

We tend to those wounds and move forward, eventually. For me, it has been a little over a month and I am just turning the corner. Around this corner I have a glimpse of acceptance, new growth, and a lovely puzzle.